Back From Vacation

My first post was from Florida where I went to visit my Dad who lives down there in the winter.  I suppose starting a blog about my life seemed like a good idea in that dreamy land of palm trees, but since being back…well, several weeks later this is my second post.

This blog is really about personal discovery.  I’m at a stage in my life where I do feel like I’m starting over with 40 years if acquired wisdom about myself and the world.  There are some key themes I want to focus on: recovery/sobriety (I’ve recently quit drinking), work/creatively and life purpose (I am trying to write a book), and friends/relationships (I’ve been single and kind of isolated for far too long – more on that below).

So under these three themes I intend to post some vignettes about my progress as much for myself as for anyone who might chose to read this.  I have to admit the blog idea was a little inspired by a book I picked up in Florida called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  While I can’t say I have much in common with the author, I like the idea of setting tangible goals to improve ones quality of life.  And blogging about it helps make it real, seeing as anyone on the interweb could theoretically follow along.

My main focus right now is sobriety.  I resolved to give up booze in 2012 and to that end, have completed an out-patient program and joined a local AA group.  My progress hasn’t been perfect but I am learning a lot about myself, and how I function.  I definitely do have the addict’s mind in how I react to the world (read: fear and resentment).  I have to say I am incredulous that there are all these people out there just like me, and who want to talk about it.  I mean, I knew intellectually that this is what AA was about, but to experience it is something different, and quite amazing.  I have a sponsor now too, and he has been really helpful trying to keep me on track.  On my better days I feel hopeful, which is such a relieving contrast to the hopelessness that characterized the last few years of my drinking.

In the context of these these themes, I want to mention as well that I am gay.  Not that that is so interesting in itself, but I find that there is a bit of a paucity of good gay content in the blogosphere (anyone reading this feel free to point me to anything I am missing).  A lot of gay blogs and websites seem to focus on superficial aspects of gay life, and don’t provide a lot of insight for older, wiser men and women.  Just an observation.

Anyway, going to try to post to this several times per week and hopefully I’ll figure out a way to get some readers along for the ride.  I have a twitter account (@tombroen) so will set this up to post to that.



About Tom Seeks Equanimity

Early 40s gay guy trying to make some changes in his life. Work in field of public transit as a project manager. Do some creative stuff too.
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